Sooo, I think my life just got more interesting. My grandfather on my mom's side was a Trowbridge. If anyone has watched the recent show 'Who Do You Think You Are?' then you probably know what I am talking about. If you haven't I'm about to talk alot about this. It's the buzz with all my Trowbridge relatives, which I am pretty close to because I feel more Trowbridge than anything because I was pretty much raised by my mom's parents.
Anyway, Cindy Crawford researched her family history back to one Thomas Trowbridge coming from England in the 1600s to America. From him she traced his line back to Charlemagne. That alone is fascinating because Charlemagne is one of those historical figures I really like, and the more I learn about him the neater I think he is, so that's like coolio! But the even neater part for me is the fact, I think this Thomas Trowbridge is somehow related to my own Trowbridge family-- At least that seems to the consensus as far as I can tell. So does this make Cindy Crawford a cousin of sorts? Who knows. More important-- Charlemagne a way far back grandpa??? That strikes my imagination-- especially as a writer. Maybe I'll have to play with this idea a little more. Of course ancestry always kinda fascinates me anyway. So--- I will tell you what I find out in the next few weeks. I guess that's it right now. Just thought I'd tell you all about some potential new discoveries!
Cat Out!
Wednesday, September 4, 2013
Monday, September 2, 2013
Tory's super cuteness-- even when she's trying to pretend that she isn't caught!
I have a funny little story I would like to tell. It actually just happened a few moments ago, but it was so cute that I couldn't resist telling it.
My granddaughter, Tory, got into some liquids and spilled them on my husband's side of the bed un-be-knowing to him. It probably happened a couple hours before, or maybe even this afternoon, I'm not sure. So Tory came tromping into the room with her grandpa and he took the towel that I assume Tory put there to hide her mess, and found the mess.
Tory meanwhile is doing everything she can so she doesn't get noticed, but Grandpa says--
"Tory were you playing with things that you shouldn't have?" Tory looks the other way and says nothing.
"This is a mess." Grandpa says. Tory climbs over to me (I'm on the other side of the bed.) and cuddles up as if to hide. Now, mind you, my husband didn't raise his voice at all. This is all just a little commentary while he is discovering two glass bottles and a liquid mess he didn't expect, and putting two and two together to figure out this was a Tory do. By Tory's reaction it is most definitely a Tory do.
"Tory you are not suppose to play with these kind of things." Grandpa says. Tory looks down with a little frown, still not saying anything, but not crying yet like she usually does when she has done something she is not suppose to. I say to her.
"You need to tell Grandpa you are sorry." She hides her face in my shoulder, still quiet.
"Tory, you made a mess for Grandpa, you need to apologize and tell him you are sorry." She sinks her head a little lower. Grandpa covers the spot with a towel, and begins to make the bed up so he can get in bed. --You know things like gathering the toys Tory left on the bed and finding a quick place for them where they won't be in the bed, but not in stepping range either.
She pops up and sees her baby doll, and begins to ask for it. So I say--
"Tory you haven't asked Grandpa to forgive you." She slowly moves closer to Grandpa, but is really quiet (you have to understand Tory is never quiet. She even makes noise when she eats!). Grandpa asks,
"Did you make the mess?" She nods her head slightly, then shows him the play phone she has in her hand.
"Is it o.k. to play with Grandpa's liquids?" He asks, and she shakes her head no. She begins to play with the phone as if she can pretend she hasn't done something wrong. I quietly say--
"Then you need to ask Grandpa to forgive you for doing wrong." Finally in quietest little whisper she says--
"Peas forgive me." as she standing beside her grandpa, and gives him a hug then a kiss. He hugs her, but she was so quiet that he wasn't sure she had asked. I told him I heard her. He told her he forgave her and he loved her, then as if everything was all better she gave him a big hug, and asked for her bottle so she could cuddle with him and go to sleep.
She fell asleep in her grandpa's arms with her blanket and her bottle while I was writing this. I tell you what, even when she misbehaves she is so darn cute! And I love her so darn much! I didn't know whether to laugh or cry as I watched her struggle. She definitely knew that was not something she should have done, and it is amazing to see such humility and restraint in one who is only two! Just had to share, and maybe you can decide to laugh or at least have a little chuckle. Anyway, hope your Labor Day weekend was wonderful, and please keep reading!
My granddaughter, Tory, got into some liquids and spilled them on my husband's side of the bed un-be-knowing to him. It probably happened a couple hours before, or maybe even this afternoon, I'm not sure. So Tory came tromping into the room with her grandpa and he took the towel that I assume Tory put there to hide her mess, and found the mess.
Tory meanwhile is doing everything she can so she doesn't get noticed, but Grandpa says--
"Tory were you playing with things that you shouldn't have?" Tory looks the other way and says nothing.
"This is a mess." Grandpa says. Tory climbs over to me (I'm on the other side of the bed.) and cuddles up as if to hide. Now, mind you, my husband didn't raise his voice at all. This is all just a little commentary while he is discovering two glass bottles and a liquid mess he didn't expect, and putting two and two together to figure out this was a Tory do. By Tory's reaction it is most definitely a Tory do.
"Tory you are not suppose to play with these kind of things." Grandpa says. Tory looks down with a little frown, still not saying anything, but not crying yet like she usually does when she has done something she is not suppose to. I say to her.
"You need to tell Grandpa you are sorry." She hides her face in my shoulder, still quiet.
"Tory, you made a mess for Grandpa, you need to apologize and tell him you are sorry." She sinks her head a little lower. Grandpa covers the spot with a towel, and begins to make the bed up so he can get in bed. --You know things like gathering the toys Tory left on the bed and finding a quick place for them where they won't be in the bed, but not in stepping range either.
She pops up and sees her baby doll, and begins to ask for it. So I say--
"Tory you haven't asked Grandpa to forgive you." She slowly moves closer to Grandpa, but is really quiet (you have to understand Tory is never quiet. She even makes noise when she eats!). Grandpa asks,
"Did you make the mess?" She nods her head slightly, then shows him the play phone she has in her hand.
"Is it o.k. to play with Grandpa's liquids?" He asks, and she shakes her head no. She begins to play with the phone as if she can pretend she hasn't done something wrong. I quietly say--
"Then you need to ask Grandpa to forgive you for doing wrong." Finally in quietest little whisper she says--
"Peas forgive me." as she standing beside her grandpa, and gives him a hug then a kiss. He hugs her, but she was so quiet that he wasn't sure she had asked. I told him I heard her. He told her he forgave her and he loved her, then as if everything was all better she gave him a big hug, and asked for her bottle so she could cuddle with him and go to sleep.
She fell asleep in her grandpa's arms with her blanket and her bottle while I was writing this. I tell you what, even when she misbehaves she is so darn cute! And I love her so darn much! I didn't know whether to laugh or cry as I watched her struggle. She definitely knew that was not something she should have done, and it is amazing to see such humility and restraint in one who is only two! Just had to share, and maybe you can decide to laugh or at least have a little chuckle. Anyway, hope your Labor Day weekend was wonderful, and please keep reading!
Thursday, August 22, 2013
Stay The Course
Sorry it has been two weeks since my last post. It has been crazy around here! My sister was released from the rehab program right around the time of my last post, and now my niece is with me three days a week, and I supervise visitations between her and my sister.
In another situation, that might not be to bad, but with my sister and the problems that she has, everyday is a day of commotion that just seems to escalate into her having a sever panic attack. That then lands her in the ER. And using the Emergency Room for things that would best be handled other ways drives me to the brink of screaming!
To top everything off the psychiatrist she sees decided to put her on a narcotic anti-anxiety drug less then a few days after she got out of rehab. Of course she has trouble with taking the right amount. Oh!! As if all of this isn't enough-- each time she takes the drug it makes her worse!!! I'm talking like psychotic worse! I would add a few swear words here, but 'don't think I want to expose you to the extent of my full frustration! To be very honest, I've thought about asking for a competency hearing for her. The problem with that is then I would be her freaking guardian! Which is definitely not something I want! I'm already spending so much time helping clean up the mess she has a habit of making of her life, that I really couldn't handle anymore.
I could look into a group home situation, but what if she does get better, or even worse what if she doesn't have that much longer on this earth? Do I really want her to lose pretty much all of her freedom? So praying and thinking what to do, leads me no where. --Except I hear this little voice in my head saying-- "Catherine, stay the course. I promise it will get better. Stay strong. Keep setting boundaries. But don't stray to the left or right. Just stay the course." I really think it is God speaking to me. Though I've heard God alot in my life, right now I'm so unsure of all my thoughts and all the things I 'hear'. All I really know is I'm holding onto what I am hearing simply because it's at least sane sounding. That is more than any other suggestion I've received lately.
So I think I'm staying the course until I hear otherwise. Honestly, today I feel more peace than I have in the last two weeks. So I guess that is something! Besides, for the first time in the last week I've had enough time to sit here and type out the stuff in my life for you to read-- Hope you 'enjoy'. This is Cat out-- Staying the course!
In another situation, that might not be to bad, but with my sister and the problems that she has, everyday is a day of commotion that just seems to escalate into her having a sever panic attack. That then lands her in the ER. And using the Emergency Room for things that would best be handled other ways drives me to the brink of screaming!
To top everything off the psychiatrist she sees decided to put her on a narcotic anti-anxiety drug less then a few days after she got out of rehab. Of course she has trouble with taking the right amount. Oh!! As if all of this isn't enough-- each time she takes the drug it makes her worse!!! I'm talking like psychotic worse! I would add a few swear words here, but 'don't think I want to expose you to the extent of my full frustration! To be very honest, I've thought about asking for a competency hearing for her. The problem with that is then I would be her freaking guardian! Which is definitely not something I want! I'm already spending so much time helping clean up the mess she has a habit of making of her life, that I really couldn't handle anymore.
I could look into a group home situation, but what if she does get better, or even worse what if she doesn't have that much longer on this earth? Do I really want her to lose pretty much all of her freedom? So praying and thinking what to do, leads me no where. --Except I hear this little voice in my head saying-- "Catherine, stay the course. I promise it will get better. Stay strong. Keep setting boundaries. But don't stray to the left or right. Just stay the course." I really think it is God speaking to me. Though I've heard God alot in my life, right now I'm so unsure of all my thoughts and all the things I 'hear'. All I really know is I'm holding onto what I am hearing simply because it's at least sane sounding. That is more than any other suggestion I've received lately.
So I think I'm staying the course until I hear otherwise. Honestly, today I feel more peace than I have in the last two weeks. So I guess that is something! Besides, for the first time in the last week I've had enough time to sit here and type out the stuff in my life for you to read-- Hope you 'enjoy'. This is Cat out-- Staying the course!
Friday, August 9, 2013
Maxine's Story-- Brave little Maxine!
Here is the next scene in Maxine's Story. Thought it had been awhile since I'd posted a scene. Hope you enjoy it!
April, 1917
Maxine cringed as it began raining. She was twelve. Her mother was gone once more helping those
in town. Emily had married Lowell O’Kelly and they had moved several hours away
in Peoria, Illinois. At least she knew
now her sister was safe. Maxine stood a
little taller, and as she had at her sister’s wedding, decided she would be the
one to keep herself safe. Quickly she
locked her door so the beast would not get in.
Could it come through a locked door?
Closing her eyes she reminded herself of the truth.
“Please God protect
me.” She prayed silently.
“Emily is safe now. Help me find safety too.” She slipped the chain that held the key to
her door over her head and hid it under the dress she wore.
Suddenly the handle was
jiggled. She jumped away, ready to
hide.
“Maxine, my little
Maxine.” His voice cooed, and fear
tripled her heart beat.
“It’s a storm
outside. I’ll make it all better.” She swallowed.
“No.” She wasn’t going to lie anymore. At the bible study at church where they
studied scripture she learned truth.
Lying was a sin. It would
separate her from God, and she wanted desperately to be with God.
“I will not let you hurt
me.” Martin Westing rattled the door
violently.
“If you dare to even
threaten me I will tell.” Who would she
tell? Would anyone believe her? Still, if she was quiet how would she be safe?
“I will tell
everyone. I will tell Pastor Fleming,
and Mrs. Sheldon and Mr. Sheldon. I will
talk to Victor. You know he is my class. I will tell Miss Jenkins, and of course Mama.
I will tell…” She named off everyone she
could think of. She wasn’t sure she
would talk to all of them, but then she wasn’t sure she wouldn’t either. One way or another she would not let him hurt
her anymore.
“You wouldn’t tell on your
Papa…” She groaned.
“Oh Yes I will! Hurting me is a sin. What if I told doc you cause me to
bleed? Pastor Fleming says we are
suppose to do right and tell others when they are wrong! So I am telling you, hurting me is wrong, and
I will tell everyone unless you never come in my room, and stay far away from
me.”
“But you are my daughter…” He cried.
“No I am not! I am my father’s daughter. He will haunt you if you hurt me again!” She quickly prayed.
God
please rouse my first father and shake Papa senseless if he ever tries to hurt
me. Make it be just like the ghosts in A
Christmas Carol that I read last Christmas. Out loud she said—
“You have to stay away
from me!”
“Will you not tell anyone
if I stay away from you?”
“I will not talk about it,
but if you even touch me, I will tell every person I know and I won’t ever be
quiet.”
“I will kill you Maxine you
won’t be able to speak.” He spoke in a
beastly voice. Fear shot through her as
he yanked the door. She had hidden all
the keys as soon as her sister moved away.
Then she remembered what they had been studying in school.
“If you murder me, they
will examine my body and they will see what you have done. We studied how the police can examine bodies
to see why they died. They will see the
places I bled, and they will know what you’ve done.” He stopped rattling the door.
“Your teacher lied to
you. No one will know.” His voice trembled, and she knew her books
didn’t lie. Her teacher told the truth.
“Then why do you sound
frightened? You know the truth too. Maybe tomorrow I will go jump off the bluff
and kill myself so everyone will know what you have done!”
“N-No Maxine. I will not harm you. I will not touch you. No one shall cause you
to die.” She smiled slightly.
“Alright, I will not jump
off the bluff.”
“You can unlock your door
then.” She shook her head.
“My door stays locked.” And she did not back down.
Sister Issues!
What is it in this world? Sorry for the question, but I'm kinda fed up with this society and some of its people. When I relate the following story please remember I love my sister tremendously, and I am trying very hard to help her make her life the best it can be, but very honest I am very fed up with the system and a few people that seem to think I have all the control. First I don't. Second even if I did it wouldn't help in this society!
My sister, because of multiple periods of drug use-- Meth use in particular-- has a very low I.Q. and she has a seven year old daughter-- her only child. On top of that she has a heart condition because of the drug use that she can't/won't control. Now for the third time she is clean-- for not even a month this time. The other two times she was clean for multiple years. Her daughter is one of the factors that has kept her clean and brought her out of her drug use quickly this time. But her ability to understand things and deal with things is much worse this time. It's to the point that there are people saying I should take guardianship of her and/or have her institutionalized. Less than three weeks ago I went to the court and signed papers to have her put into a rehab program, because of her heart I was listened to. That was the first time that my concerns have been listened to by the powers that be.
Two years ago I was her payee for the disability she receives. That lasted for a year before she hated me because she thought I was stealing her money. I wasn't. When she lived with me it was like World War III between her and my son-- until the day I heard her punch him in the chest and laugh about it. That was the day I asked her to leave. She doesn't understand that kids deal with things differently than adults, and she doesn't understand that her mental state affects everyone around her, especially my son with CP and autism. She also doesn't understand that I have to pick my child's well being over hers-- but honestly that seems to be a problem in the system and with others also.
Now, everyone in her life seems to think she is my problem to deal with. The issue with that is that I have no control, and even if I could be her guardian I don't want to be! Very honest I'm not so sure she's going to be around that much longer, and even beyond that why should I be the one that pays for her mistakes? Because she messes up her life daily should I be expected to clean up that mess? REALLY?!?!? Honestly that sounds kinda assine! My sister has problems, I won't argue that. She can't figure things out, and she doesn't understand that when you pass out from your heart not quite working right that you really can't be depended on to be at a job. She doesn't get/ won't listen to the fact that her smoking and drinking insane amounts of caffeine hurts her and that just eating junk food does not constitute a good diet, but guess what? She didn't get that before this last bout with drugs either, and she didn't understand that when she lived with me. Putting her in the local program for people that can't take care of themselves wouldn't make any of those things any better either. The worst part is even if I would go for guardianship I wouldn't be able to get it. Simply put, she's not bad off enough!!!
So I am fed up! I'm damned if I do anything, and I am damned if I don't do something. The most aggravating thing is my hands seemed tied no matter what I do! And I am toooo much of a freedom person to let this continue. So I will do something ultimately, but I doubt anyone will be happy with me at that point! This month my motto of 'Love even the unlovable, and forgive even the unforgivable' is being super challenged. Hopefully my world will be better for the challenge. I guess this is all I have to share-- So hoping and praying your life is less confusing and more peaceful than mine right now--
Cat out.
My sister, because of multiple periods of drug use-- Meth use in particular-- has a very low I.Q. and she has a seven year old daughter-- her only child. On top of that she has a heart condition because of the drug use that she can't/won't control. Now for the third time she is clean-- for not even a month this time. The other two times she was clean for multiple years. Her daughter is one of the factors that has kept her clean and brought her out of her drug use quickly this time. But her ability to understand things and deal with things is much worse this time. It's to the point that there are people saying I should take guardianship of her and/or have her institutionalized. Less than three weeks ago I went to the court and signed papers to have her put into a rehab program, because of her heart I was listened to. That was the first time that my concerns have been listened to by the powers that be.
Two years ago I was her payee for the disability she receives. That lasted for a year before she hated me because she thought I was stealing her money. I wasn't. When she lived with me it was like World War III between her and my son-- until the day I heard her punch him in the chest and laugh about it. That was the day I asked her to leave. She doesn't understand that kids deal with things differently than adults, and she doesn't understand that her mental state affects everyone around her, especially my son with CP and autism. She also doesn't understand that I have to pick my child's well being over hers-- but honestly that seems to be a problem in the system and with others also.
Now, everyone in her life seems to think she is my problem to deal with. The issue with that is that I have no control, and even if I could be her guardian I don't want to be! Very honest I'm not so sure she's going to be around that much longer, and even beyond that why should I be the one that pays for her mistakes? Because she messes up her life daily should I be expected to clean up that mess? REALLY?!?!? Honestly that sounds kinda assine! My sister has problems, I won't argue that. She can't figure things out, and she doesn't understand that when you pass out from your heart not quite working right that you really can't be depended on to be at a job. She doesn't get/ won't listen to the fact that her smoking and drinking insane amounts of caffeine hurts her and that just eating junk food does not constitute a good diet, but guess what? She didn't get that before this last bout with drugs either, and she didn't understand that when she lived with me. Putting her in the local program for people that can't take care of themselves wouldn't make any of those things any better either. The worst part is even if I would go for guardianship I wouldn't be able to get it. Simply put, she's not bad off enough!!!
So I am fed up! I'm damned if I do anything, and I am damned if I don't do something. The most aggravating thing is my hands seemed tied no matter what I do! And I am toooo much of a freedom person to let this continue. So I will do something ultimately, but I doubt anyone will be happy with me at that point! This month my motto of 'Love even the unlovable, and forgive even the unforgivable' is being super challenged. Hopefully my world will be better for the challenge. I guess this is all I have to share-- So hoping and praying your life is less confusing and more peaceful than mine right now--
Cat out.
Wednesday, August 7, 2013
The Key to Her Heart Synopsis
I wanted to share the synopsis for my book The Key to Her Heart. Meg and I wrote it today. It will go on the back of the printed book, and also on the postcard sized business that I'm planning to give out to people I'm talking to about this adventure. On the front of the postcard will be The Key to Her Heart's cover. I'm just a little excited! Just a wee bit...
What do you think? I'm stoked! Can hardly believe it's really happening!
The
Key to Her Heart
Driven away
from her home by a destructive feud Anna is a successful model in the early
seventies. When she attracts the unwanted attention of the eldest son of the
fashion world’s biggest tycoon she’s pulled into a vicious game of cat-and-mouse
that leaves her running for her life.
As powerful as
he is ruthless Anna refuses to involve Patrick Rueschel, the ever incorrigible
and devoted boy from her hometown. Between her father’s vow of vengeance on the
Rueschel family and her dark secrets from California, a life with Patrick is
out of the question, but as she falls deeper into her foe’s dangerous net, his love might be the only thing that can save
her…
____________
Coming November 2013What do you think? I'm stoked! Can hardly believe it's really happening!
Monday, August 5, 2013
The Key to Her Heart Cover
Now this one you all have to make a comment on! Please. I need all the opinions I can get.So don't be shy! This cover has been a super cooperative effort! But here it is. Sarah and Megan and I put it together from a wonderful picture Becca drew. It came together late, very late Thursday night/ Friday early morning, then I was gone all weekend. This is the first chance I have had to get it on here. And I am so excited to share it with you!!!!!!!!!!! The Key to Her Heart is becoming more of a reality. So all my readers, you are the first to see it. Please drop a line to my website, here, facebook, or twitter and tell me what you think-- All opinions are welcome, whether I agree or not.
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