There are some big differences between Peter and myself. One is I live life very randomly, and he is very concrete and logical. Two is I am pretty defined and positive and he is like the wind and tends toward the negative. His highest skills are in verbal reasoning. Meaning he learns best by auditory teaching. I am a visual and written learner. My least strong area is verbal. His least strong area is in visual perceptions. With all the vision problems he's had-- couldn't see that one coming! I am a little more stubborn than Peter, but I've had almost forty-five years to grow in stubbornness too.
Believe it or not, other than these things Peter and I quite alike. We both like goals. We both hate surprises of any kind. Both have had troubled starts to life, and struggle with many of the same issues. We both have anger issues, and get caught up in alot of emotion. Both of us are prone towards shooting ourselves in the foot just when we need good aim.
I know he has a hell of alot higher IQ than 69 just by the stunts he's pulled! Honestly, I am not a stupid person, nor am I intellectually challenged, and if I was to set my son's behavior problems aside I would guess Peter and I for about the same IQ. No matter what doctors say about my son, I know my boy. The psychiatrist placed him at a first grade level. I know he is closer to a fourth grade level. He would be higher than that but we've had to deal with sight and behavior issues. I also know he's capable of alot more than he gives himself credit for.
Further more I asked Peter what he believes about himself (without telling him what the testing said about him). He told me he believes he can catch up to his age mates. He said that is his biggest goal. I believe he can do it. That's the plain and simple truth. I know all the things we are going to have to do in the next few years to make it happen, but I believe it can be done.
More than all of this I know what God says about my boy. Maybe it is strange talking about what God says, but He's never led me astray. He's never told me one thing and then left me to face something else entirely different. In fact anyone who knows me knows how much I try to listen to God and follow what I feel he's saying even when it is not logical. I think that is part of what makes me so random. I've been going over in my head all of the things God has shown me in the years before and since we adopted Peter to see if somehow I miss understood. God never talked about group homes, or interventions. He told me he will have trouble while he's young and I will have to keep my thumb on him. But he told me he would go to college. I've had visions of him as an adult, and been told prophecies about his future. None of these said he wouldn't be able to be part of the normal adult world. In fact it is just the opposite he ends up helping kids that are in situations far worse than his. If I believe what is being said then that's that. I can't believe that he's not even going to be able to take care of himself without help. Besides, I will always trust God more than any doctor.
Honest I don't know that I am up to the challenge, but I know I've got a support system around me that will be with Todd & I as we figure all of this out. And whether I am up to it or not I will become up to it. Tomorrow I'm going to talk to a friend of mine. She offered to help with tutoring, even if I couldn't pay her. I don't have money, but Peter does need a tutor. I'm going to see if she's still willing. Further we have applied for disability for him. --Not because we think this is a lifetime thing, but precisely because we don't want it to be and to get the intervention he needs we need the help. I also found alot of my Classical Conversations materials, and we are going to begin using them again. Reality is we have to change the way we do school. He did very well when we were involved with Classical Conversations-- it is very verbally based (Peter's strength). Besides it is very logically step by step based (another Peter necessity). Todd is going to take over some of his schooling to give me a little reprieve that I can use to some preschool with Tory and to do more cleaning up and meal prep. Peter needs alot of structure, and so I have to figure out how to go about that.
If you read this please pray for us. First that God will direct us and help us trim away what does not work, and keep what does. Second that I will have the stamina to do what is needed. Finally allergy season is winding down so that should mean I will be feeling better, but my immune system has taken a huge hit in the last five to six weeks because of Ragweed, Golden Rod, and crop dust from harvesting. Every year about this time I have trouble, but this year has been the worst ever. Anyway my immune system is weak and so I am hoping I will be able to rebuild it, but I don't know how things are going to go. Third pray that I will be able to have the time to continue to write. I really want to get Patrick's Rose ready to publish in December. That's not that far away, and I have trouble doing two things at once. So I covet your prayers. I think in the next couple days I'll try to put together a sneak peak of Patrick's Rose and post it. I am kinda excited about it, but with everything else I haven't talked about it much. So the next post I'll tell you more. Hey, everyone reading, thanks for being there and listening. I can't tell you how much I appreciate the comments, and love that has come through from so many. A million words is not enough to tell you how thankful I am.
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