Something happened to a person close to me today, and without naming them, I just need a place to talk about it. I hope you do not mind. My friend got a call from her sister. It was a frantic call, her sister was hysterical and barely understandable. You have to understand my friend's sister has had alot of trouble since she was young with drugs. Until the last month she had been off drugs for over seven years, and she has a little girl. My friend has in every way tried to be the best sister she could be. For the first five years of her niece's life she not only helped raise her, but her niece lived with her. The last couple years though the sister pretty much cut my friend out of her life, but that helped my friend to focus on her own family even though she has been hurt for the lack of time she has had with her niece. Today without warning everything exploded with that hysterical call. She and another friend went over to her sister's house to find she was being threatened by a boyfriend who was terrorizing both her and her daughter. My friend got both of them out of there and took them to her home while the other person she brought with her talked the boyfriend down and forced him to leave. Once things were under control, the little girl's father came to take her to his house overnight and the sister went to sleep things off. Sounds like a perfect ending-- considering.
It wasn't. It isn't. The little girl's father hasn't been a part of her life until the last year and a half. He has three children, and each he gained custody of so he wouldn't have to pay child support. As long as my friend's sister didn't pursue child support, he had nothing to do with his daughter. He's manipulative, even trying to manipulate my friend, and he's very controlling. Honestly from what I've seen from an outsider's point of view he's pretty abusive emotionally making both the sister and her little girl feel like dirt. He has threatened the sister many times over stupid things, and this he would squash her like a bug if he found out. Though he is not on drugs, and he makes a decent living he is no better for the little girl than her mother, and in some of his calloused ways much worse.
My friend isn't sure how to feel. She says she's numb at this point, and yet overwhelmed. I know she's talked about feeling like she let the little girl down. And though she loves her sister, I think it's very hard to forgive the damage she's causing both her daughter and my friend's family. I keep reminding her of the hard lesson I've had to learn. Love even the unlovable and forgive even the unforgivable. She says she knows, but sometimes that is so hard to do.
The little girl is amazing. My friend said she screamed back at the boyfriend when he threatened her mom, and stood up to him. If you saw her she is a tiny little kid with a big smile and she's not afraid of anyone. Because of the problems her mother has had, she does have some learning issues, but she is smart and she knows people. Consequently, she didn't like this boyfriend even before this incident happened and she also does not get along with her father. My friend is worried what's going to happen to her niece if her sister doesn't straighten up her life or if the father finds out about the sister's stupidity. I wonder if the little girl is left with either of her parents how will she fare? I think she should be protected and loved unconditionally, and that she has a right to stability. Really I think the best place for her to be is with my friend, and for her parents to have visitations-- maybe even supervised visitations.
I hate how children are not treasured in our society. I hate how good parents seemed to be punished, and children like the little girl I am talking about are left in horrible situations because they are not bad enough for someone to intervene, and if someone like my friend would try they would quickly find their hands tied and them unable to do anything to protect children like the little girl. It really gets me ticked. And yet I am only one person... Yet I have a voice-- It come out in writing.
So I appeal to all listening, let's change the system. Let's do all we can for the children-- Not more government. Because we all know when the government gets involved it just makes it worse. Let's get involved in the lives around us. Let's help parents that are struggling. Let's be our brother's (and sister's) keepers. Let's pour out our love on those around us. Let's become foster parents. Let's adopt children that haven't had the easiest road-- whether legal adoption or by being mentors, or by taking over when the parent needs help. Let's help stop drugs by giving a weak person some hope and joy and love. Please! I appeal to you! Give of yourself for the ones around you. Because they need you.
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