To stay or move: That is the question!

This blog has nothing to do with my book, but with my life.  Is it possible that the dark descent that my family has been through has to do with choices made in the last ten years?  I am a Byzantine Catholic.  I became such ten years ago.  I will never regret that decision for as long as I live.  It was a miraculous doing of God that was in process from the time I became a Christian in 1988.  What I do regret is living so far from my church. (four hours one way.)  Is it possible that my family being without community in essence has made for a continuous uphill  battle that has not let up in all of this ten years?  I have one daughter who turned to drugs and then to a, shall we say, 'alternative lifestyle'.  I have one daughter who struggles on every front and almost gave up the battle entirely.  I have one daughter who struggles with her health, and just prays to make it through the battles in one piece.  Finally I have a son who struggles with the battle of kindness.  He has a good heart, just a flippant mouth that he can't or won't get under control (he's twelve and struggling with rebellious tendencies too.).   So could being without a community of believers, or 'forsaking your fellowship' as scripture calls it cause this destruction?  Maybe this is over dramatic, or me just not thinking straight, but it seems in the time we have not had fellowship except when we could get to our church (started out every two weeks, then recently it's been almost impossible due to my youngest daughter's illnesses.) that life around here has been in a steady downward spiral.  We try very hard to maintain our Christianity, but how does a child understand when all the 'mentors' around him are not?  At pascha when we spend close to a week at our church I watch my son's whole attitude turn around, but then we have to come 'home'.  There begins the descent again, each time worse than the year before.

My second daughter's drug use started in our neighborhood with local kids, despite homeschooling and trying to provide good friends for her to be around.  Her lifestyle now is not something I have ever approved of, or would want for my child and very honest I am scared to the roots of my hair that my son is going to fall into a similar pattern if we don't change something drastically.  All the counselling in the world can't fix the situation you live in day in and day out if you don't work on it.  I'd say that is true for the community also.  My oldest daughter claims she feels likes she living in Earthly hell, and I really can't argue.  She has been through a hell that no child or adult should go through, and all of it has happened within this community.  When she went to California, even though more worldly, she definitely could see the difference and if it wasn't for her family being here I am sure she would have stayed there.  Here lies my battle.

Community, or lack there of, is important.  Maybe even more important than the best parenting--  but then isn't that part of parenting?  So then if we stay where we are am I being a negligent parent?   Knowing what I know?  I am asking the question.  Is security enough to keep us where we are not thriving?  I posed this question to my dad, and his answer was 'Baring the weather.  You make your own community.  If you don't like the weather then you should move.  But just because bad things happen...'  The weather is the least of my problems, but I do realize that the climate of the people do change my mood.  Living in a place where there is no support for the way you are trying to raise your family can it make it impossible?  And what if because of my beliefs my community that I made is four hours away?  Maybe my dad is right.  We do make our own community-- but I made mine at my church.  Isn't that then where my family should be?  Shouldn't we be among those that count us as friends?  Those that love us even when we don't make sense?  If that is the case, then what am I doing here?  Perhaps that is the reason that God has allowed us to face such dark times?  Maybe it is a way of letting us know we aren't suppose to be so far from what he has given us?  But then it has been so dark, that it's hard for me to see the light and see if my thoughts are right.  So I pose it here in this forum because, even if no one makes a response, just the writing it down helps me sort it out and figure out what to do.  I guess in final review the title to this one is:  'To stay or move: That is the question!'