Friday, June 21, 2013

A Question to be Asked...

There’s a special little girl in the smack center of my life.  She’s is so amazing to me.  Last February she turned two, and she lights up the life of everyone around her.  I am blessed to be the one who raises her and who receives so much of her attention, but by birth I am not her mother.
Her birth mother is my daughter Rebecca, and Todd (my husband) and I adopted her when she was almost one. (That is a hundred page book for another time!)She knows all her family and she understands her world.  Her grandpa/dad “Paw Paw” is the apple of her eye, and her smile makes one feel that everything is alright in the world!  Her nick name is Tory Joy, but most times it is just Tory, or “TOOOOORY!” if she’s poking fun or bossing her uncle/brother around (which is one of her favorite pastimes).  She knows how to tease, she knows just how to tickle anyone and make them squirm, she knows just what ridiculous things to laugh at, and which ones just get a little giggle or a big smile.  She absolutely treasures her ‘Aunt Hopie’ (my 16 year old daughter), and she has the softest golden haired waves I’ve ever seen!  She loves to be outside as much as anyone will possibly let her, and her favorite playmate is her cousin Alex who is nineteen days older than her. (They are affectionately known as the ‘womb warped’ twins.)
But she would not be alive if not for the sacrifices my daughter made at eighteen years old.
You see, she did not want to be pregnant, and she was not ready to be a mom.  She could not deal with her life, and she had more issues than her father or I knew how to handle.  Besides many things I will not mention here, she basically had dropped out of high school, and had no way to support herself or a child.  Her friends at the time were in the same place she was, and we still have no clue who Tory’s birth father is.
She did a few things right, though.  One big one was giving life to my Tory.  The second was choosing, through many nights and tears and awake moments, to ask her father and I to adopt her when she realized she was in no position to give to Tory what this little precious child deserves.
Now I don’t know of what persuasion you are on the issues of how a young pregnant girl decides between life and death, but personally, being like Tory, born to a very confused and unprepared teenager, I am glad for the gift of life.  Tory, like I was to my parents, was a gift to Todd and I, and we, like my Mom and Dad, are entrusted with her precious care.  It makes her all the more special, and has given a special thankfulness for my Rebecca that will never go away.  My mom once spoke to me about the same feelings for my birth mother, even though she had never met her at that time.
So when I hold my precious girl all these things go through my mind.  The whole pro life/pro choice debate goes on, but looking at my Tory I have a very different perspective.  My daughter could have chosen, as many girls do, to end Tory’s life before she was ever born and I wouldn’t have known, but I would have been robbed of knowing such a wonderful little girl.  My birth mother, if she had gotten pregnant just a few years later than she did, could have done the same thing to me.  The world would have never been ‘graced’ with my entire family.
I’ve been blessed and honored to be both Grandma and Mommy to this precious little girl.  Tory was given the gift of life by my daughter as well as the Creator.  Something to think about.
I am not here to change your opinion just a final question I want to ask you to ponder—even if you do not agree with my persuasion.  It is not the typical question of choice, or ‘It’s a child not a choice.’ It’s more of ‘What does the child deserve?’ or ‘What if I was that child?  What would I want?’ maybe even 'Who's life, if the child's life is ended, would be left empty or more unfulfilled?'

I’ll leave you to contemplate, as I do so much when I look at my precious, precious girl.     

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