An Update on My Son Peter

Eleven months ago in complete desperation I posted about the psychological report that rocked my world and made me question everything I believed was possible for my son,

Since then things have changed.

First, Peter is able to do so much more than those doctors thought.  This school year, if all goes right he will academically be in at least 7th grade by the end of the year (June 2016).  Right now he is working at a 4th/5th grade level all the way around except in English where he is functioning at a 7th grade level already.  Writing is probably his biggest problem, but he is learning-- thanks in part to the flack he receives when he gets on Facebook.  Writing is like pulling teeth on a daily basis, but we do keep plugging along.

Peter after running his first 5K.  Now he runs
each day.

Also he is becoming much more independent with his work, and with self care.  Honestly he is very much like a
fourteen year old-- which he is.  Maturity wise he is a few years behind, but he is learning.  We talk about how to react and how to respond everyday.  Everyday he also makes a little more progress.  Though there are days I want to pull my hair out, there are also many days where he really gets it.

Peter's biggest problem is his attitude.  He worries that he is not good enough and that he can't do something.  That sends him into a downward spiral that causes him to give everyone a hard time.  When Todd or I work with him and show him he can do it, things change.  He will work hard and accomplish even what we did not know he was capable of.  At this point he is beginning to use his sight.

That doesn't sound like such a big deal, but it is huge!  You see up until 11 Peter basically couldn't
see out of his left eye--  a little-- but his brain refused to use that eye.  Peter learned to rely on sound and learned by touch and auditory bents instead of really even using the sight he had.  Amazingly he did learn to read even without the benefit of normal sight and he played sports.

At 11 we began to see a developmental pediatric ophthalmologist who was able to help his brain recognize his left eye and restored his sight to almost normal.  Peter though had gone twelve years by that time without true sight and so continued to act as if it wasn't there.  We would tell him all the time "LOOK!"  It would take him several times of looking before he truly saw.

Lately, that has changed.  He is starting to read labels and packaging.  He is picking up books and reading them on his own just because it LOOKS like something interesting, and I am finding out he is more of a visual learner than he ever was before.  That has caused some dramatic changes in schooling for him.

Over the summer he did about six months of school work,  When he works he is so much faster than he ever was before and so he is finishing 2-3 years of catch up in a school year with no sign of slow down yet.  Things have dramatically changed from last year.

Peter with Tory and Ales in July

Part of that are some of the things we have done.  Because of that post last October I got a message from a friend that had found out about a new brain technique called QNRT.  After researching it and praying about it we decided to see a practitioner in Cedar Rapids that does QNRT.

It really helped heal up old emotional issues for Peter that were causing so much of his problems.  Also it helped make connections in his brain to help him accept his sight and begin using it.  He is still quite defensive, but it has helped him realize that the people around him aren't his enemy.

He is beginning to accept help where he needs it, and finally there are the seedlings of respect growing within him.  It will still take several years for him to really understand these concepts, but the beginning is there now.  That's amazing!  We were told this is what he would not be able to do!  Last year we went through the summer trying to keep him calm and walking on eggshells, hoping that there wouldn't be any outrageous explosions or he wouldn't end up arrested.  I use to wonder if I was just a trauma mama.  This is what prompted the psychological testing in the first place.

This summer we had one huge problem, and that lasted for about two days.  The rest of the time things were pretty good.  He even tried out detasseling-- He lasted 4 days, but at least he tried it out. After that he helped with two different church functions for two weeks and had so much fun.  He is part of a youth group where he is not looked on any different than any other teen there.  We are keeping our fingers crossed, but he seems to be keeping friends for more than two months.  When he has the same friends for six months I'll breath a sigh of relief.

In all, things are looking up.  Yes Peter still has problems, and yes the next several years are going to be tough, but if things keep up the way they have been going I think he has a shot at getting to his dreams and living independent of some agency's help.  Maybe if I can dream this big he will get married one day and have children of his own...  Maybe but he is only fourteen and right now I am focusing on getting him to the point of doing high school work.  That is our future and I can almost see it.

This is Cat out with a good update.